It’s no secret that the process of getting a divorce can be stressful. There is a lot to take in, from dealing with a major change in your routine to splitting property with someone who was once your partner. You might also have kids or other loved ones whose lives will be changed as a result of your divorce – and the responsibility of caring for them may fall upon you.
Fortunately, while there is no quick fix, there are some healthy ways to deal with the stress of divorce that can make the process a bit easier.
How Do I Overcome the Stress of a Divorce?
If you are trying to cope with divorce stress, try following the tips below. Taking steps like these can help you manage the stressful aspects of dissolving your marriage and help keep you healthy and calm.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Ending your marriage can bring up a whole host of confusing emotions. No matter what you are feeling, it is important to sit with yourself and acknowledge your emotions. Do not push them away or invalidate them; instead, take the time to reflect on what you are feeling and experience each emotion. Reaching out to trusted loved ones can also help you identify and process your emotions during this time.
Seek Support
You should not have to navigate this complex emotional period by yourself. Reach out to loved ones in your life for support. Even if you do not feel comfortable sharing details about what you are going through or how you feel with those you love, just the simple act of spending time with those who care about you can remind you that you are not alone. When you are feeling down or overwhelmed with divorce stress, consider reaching out to someone you care about and make plans to do something enjoyable together.
Pursue Counseling
A mental health professional can assist you as you sort through complex emotions, address conflicts with your former spouse, and adjust to a new way of life. Whether you go to counseling alone, with your former spouse, or with your family, any type of professional mental health support can help you develop coping mechanisms and stress reduction tactics during your split. Your mental health professional can also be a great listening ear if your loved ones are too close to your divorce to offer an objective view.
Take Breaks
When you are going through a divorce, it can sometimes feel like life is moving very fast. If you are facing a lot of responsibilities at work, in your home, or elsewhere during this time, try to take steps to reduce your workload. It can help you relax to have time without any plans or responsibilities on your plate. This can also help you work to process your emotions.
Think Through Your Big Decisions
When you are feeling a varied mix of emotions, as well as feeling stressed and pressured, it can be tempting to make rash decisions. However, stress can sometimes impair your judgment, potentially leading you to make decisions with long-lasting, negative consequences while you are not in your right mind. Working through processing your emotions, reaching out for support, and allowing yourself time to consider all options before making big decisions can help ensure a positive outcome.
Establish Routines
When it feels like life is spiraling out of control, or you are stressed about your inability to control important situations, it is important to establish some semblance of stability. Creating and following clear routines every day can help you feel a sense of control over your life and make you feel a bit calm. If you have children who are impacted by your divorce, it can also be stressful. Creating clear routines for your children and communicating with your co-parent about establishing similar routines can help create consistency and reduce stress for everyone involved.
Take Care of Your Physical Health
When life gets chaotic and stressful, you might find yourself putting your physical health on the back burner. However, it is important to prioritize staying healthy and caring for yourself. Stress can contribute to physical ailments like headaches, fatigue, and more, as well as mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Making an effort to manage all of the following can help you make sure that you stay feeling well and minimally stressed during this time:
Nutrition
Stress can impact your appetite. For example, you might find yourself eating less than usual, or you could end up eating more than usual. Stress can also lead you to reach for unhealthy food options that cause a temporary spike in your blood pressure, but this is usually followed by fatigue. Instead, you should strive to maintain a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and carbohydrates. If you are struggling to eat full meals because of your stress, you should consider consuming smoothies and fresh juices to continue ensuring you get the nutrients you need. Over-the-counter vitamins and supplements can also help balance nutrients you may be missing in your diet.
Exercise
Staying active can help you stay energized and positive even in challenging times. If you find yourself feeling low, consider moving your body with moderate exercise. When you are active, your brain produces dopamine, which can help boost your mood and help you release some of your stress.
Sleep
Divorce stress can cause you to lose sleep. Even though it might be hard to put your mind at rest in the evening, you should strive to stick to a regular sleep schedule. Getting enough sleep is vital for staying energized and healthy and reducing your stress levels. If you find it difficult to get enough rest at night, try to minimize distractions by staying away from technology before bed, avoiding eating or drinking right before bed, and participating in deep breathing activities or meditating to relax.
Try To Avoid Conflict
The divorce process often involves frequent disagreements. It can be difficult to communicate in a healthy manner with your former partner, but getting involved in arguments in person or over text can increase your stress. If you find yourself unable to communicate in a healthy, productive manner with your former partner, you should consider reaching out for support from a counselor or a mediator. It is particularly important that you find a way to engage in respectful, flexible communication if you have children together and intend to co-parent.
Try New Things
When you experience a drastic change in your life, you might find yourself feeling nostalgia and concentrating on the way things used to be. To reduce your stress and overwhelming feelings about your divorce, consider trying out new experiences in order to take a positive look toward the future. For example, you could try out a new hobby, travel to a new place, or start a new daily routine in order for your life to look a bit different and to feel yourself moving forward.
Be There for Your Children
If you have children and you are going through a divorce, it can be tough to help them adjust to the new arrangement. It can also increase your own stress to see your children impacted by you and your former partner’s decisions. It is important that you do not put blame on yourself for what is happening and instead spend time checking in with your children about their thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge all their feelings, no matter what they are, and try your best to make them feel heard and cared for.
Your goal should also include keeping your children out of any stressful situations between you and your former partner. For example, some parents ask their children to choose between them or attempt to get information about the other parent from their child. Avoiding such behaviors and working with your co-parent to protect the needs, routines, and emotional stability of your children should be both of your main priorities.
Related Reading: Helping Your Children Through a Divorce
Sort Out Your Financial Situation
Often, the issue of dividing marital property increases stress levels during a divorce. Although it might not seem relaxing, reviewing your financial situation and ensuring you understand exactly what you have and what you are entitled to can help give you some clarity during your divorce. Sorting out your finances and your financial options can help you see the overall picture of your situation and give you confidence and empowerment during this time – and it’s essential for navigating the property division process. When you work with a family law attorney during your divorce, they can review your finances and help you understand the situation you are facing.
Seek Legal Support for Your Divorce
When you are facing a stressful divorce, the last thing you need to add to your plate is navigating the legal process alone. It is important to secure the assistance of a divorce attorney who can answer all your questions about the legal process and advocate for you every step of the way. Your lawyer can handle the administrative aspects involved in filing for divorce and assist you with navigating everything from child custody battles and stressful child support issues to filing appeals if a family law matter is mishandled in court. Putting your divorce in the hands of a capable legal professional can help you focus on what you or your children need to weather this difficult time.
How Long Does Divorce Stress Last?
It is natural to find yourself asking, “Does the pain of divorce ever go away?” However, it is important that you do not put too much pressure on yourself to rush your healing. Every person’s experience with divorce stress is different, and the amount of time you’ll be dealing with negative emotions due to your divorce may not match another person’s experience. You will likely find that when you take as many steps as possible to cope with divorce stress, including finding counseling and legal guidance, you can help eliminate some of your stress.
Reach Out to a Dedicated Divorce Lawyer
Consulting with an experienced family law attorney about your divorce can give you peace of mind during this stressful time. More importantly, a skilled attorney can help you ensure a positive result in your divorce case. If you are in need of a family law attorney to represent you during your divorce, reach out to the superb family law team at The Valley Law Group for support. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.
Want to learn more? Download our free divorce guide
*Editor’s Note: This article was originally published Apr 1, 2021 and has been updated March 4, 2024.
Jonathan Roeder, Founder/Director of Marketing of The Valley Law Group, is an Arizona native who has dedicated his life and career to the service of others. After graduating salutatorian of his high school class, Jonathan attended beautiful and prestigious Pepperdine University, where he majored in Political Science. During his tenure at Pepperdine University, his passion for helping others grew after securing a clinical position with a residential treatment center for juveniles with substance addictions. Post-graduation, Jonathan returned to Arizona and served as a residential manager for mentally and physically disabled homes.